Intimacy in a marriage takes work

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Let’s be honest. A major factor in the breakdown of a marriage is problems with intimacy. And this is particularly the case amongst people of faith. The reasons for this are many and varied, including the role of Hollywood and popular culture in promoting a fantastical and unreal ideal of intimacy amongst couples.

That’s why this particular psychological study shared by the Al Ghazzali Centre Telegram channel, is really important in understanding that intimacy is not something that is wild, passionate and burns on its own fuel. Although it can be those things as well, the reality is that in a marriage there will be times when this fuel needs to be fed, and this takes work.

Other important points to highlight:

  • The “soulmate” philosophy can lead to the false belief that the relationship will naturally be sexually fulfilling.
  • There will be a “honeymoon” phase where a couple will experience high satisfaction in their intimate lives, but after around two years, hard work and effort is required to maintain this.
  • Having “problems in the bedroom” does not necessarily point to problems in the overall relationship. As said above, it just means that effort is required to readjust, to communicate, and to reconfigure this particular element of a relationship.
  • And lastly, sexual intimacy should not be the defining factor, foundational element of a relationship. Of course it is important, but it should not define the relationship as a whole.

Image via India Earl.

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