What I’ve learnt (so far) about Motherhood

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  1. Giving birth is utterly heart breaking: Yes birth is all kinds of crazy/incredible yet simultaneously it can be totally heart breaking. When I came home from the hospital, I’d sometimes find myself in tears for (seemingly) no reason. I simply couldn’t cope with the enormity of what my body had just been through and the fact that she was now out in the world, and therefore vulnerable and exposed to it was pretty damn heartbreaking.
  2. You need your space: Having a good support system is crucial to recovery. But what is also crucial is having some time away from everyone who just wants to ‘help’. While their intentions are sincere, as a first time mother what you need is some space to nurture your connection with your baby. It doesn’t help to have people hovering around constantly and (more than likely), judging. First time mothers need an atmosphere that is reassuring and supportive, with the right balance of advice/care but also knowing when to step back and letting the new mother do her thing.
  3. Trust your instincts: In a world of Dr. Google and online forums, it’s really hard not to jump on the net for everything and diagnose your child with a life-threatening disease. Raising a baby has a lot to do with trusting your instincts. You need to understand that EVERY baby is different and what may work for one mother and baby, may not work for you.
  4. Life goes on: It’s very easy to get caught up in baby and soon everything you do is overtaken by this tiny being. All your energy, time and brain power suddenly get directed into keeping this baby alive… All the things that you wanted to do before baby somehow take a back seat. To ensure baby is healthy and happy, you need to be healthy and happy. And for that to happen, you need time out to focus on your physical and spiritual health. Rely on the people around you. You need to find time to focus on yourself, to engage in activities outside of caring for the baby. You, and your children, will thank you for it later.
  5. Knowing Allah: From pregnancy, to the birth, and witnessing my daughter grow, I felt like I was privy to Allah’s sheer mercy, compassion and beauty. I caught a glimpse of what patience means. At the same time, I understood that there was an ocean of things about this life, and therefore about Allah (swt) that I didn’t know. My daughter never ceases to surprise me, and stir emotions I didn’t know existed, and to show me how to appreciate the beauty and simple things in this world that she is captivated by. In a time of such disturbance to the human soul and spirit, being given the opportunity to bring life into this world gave me the chance to reconnect, reflect and ultimately, to be in awe of the Creator of all things.

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